Mother’s Pearls of Wisdom

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I have read countless articles about the lessons handed down by moms to there sons…here is a list that you may find amusing especially if you have an Italian mom. Now that you have become parents you may find yourselves using these very pearls of wisdom.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MED ICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think
I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think
you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
“When you get to be my age, you’ll
understand.”

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”

Modern Hunters and Gatherers

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A good friend of mine just wrote this on his Facebook page.
If our bodies need exercise, why do we have to force ourselves to do it?

According to a Harvard evolutionary biologist, for much of our history we got all the exercise we needed just by staying alive. The average hunter-gatherer walked or ran 9-15K every day while trying to chase dinner until it dropped dead of exhaustion. In fact, because we used to move so much our bodies are hardwired to take the easy option whenever it’s available (elevator in the gym, anyone?).

Our ancestors didn’t get nearly enough calories to support all that running. That’s why we have an instinctive craving for sugary, fatty foods. So how do we bridge the gap between the ancient and modern lifestyles?

I am still hunting for the best BBQ in the South but I am cruising comfortably in my KIA.